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Conflict style test

Everyone has a default move when a disagreement starts. Find yours among the five classic conflict styles, see how strongly you use the others, and learn when to switch.

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How well does each statement describe you? Answer as you usually are, not as you would like to be.

  1. In a disagreement, I argue my position firmly until the other person sees it my way.

  2. I try to get everyone's concerns on the table before we decide anything.

  3. I'm happy to meet halfway so we can move on.

  4. I'd rather drop a touchy subject than risk an argument.

  5. I usually give in if the issue matters more to the other person than to me.

  6. When I'm sure I'm right, I don't back down just to keep the peace.

  7. I look for a solution that fully works for both of us, even if it takes longer.

  8. A fair trade, where each side gives something up, feels like a good outcome to me.

  9. When a conflict starts, I often change the subject or leave the room.

  10. Keeping the relationship smooth matters more to me than winning the point.

  11. I treat a debate as something to win.

  12. I ask a lot of questions to understand what the other person really needs.

  13. When we're stuck, I suggest splitting the difference.

  14. I put off difficult conversations, hoping things will settle on their own.

  15. I often put other people's wishes ahead of my own so I don't upset them.

  16. If a decision matters to me, I push hard for it, even if it causes some tension.

  17. I'd rather work through a disagreement together than settle it quickly.

  18. I'll give up part of what I want if the other person does the same.

  19. Many disagreements aren't worth the energy, so I let them go.

  20. I find it easy to say "Fine, let's do it your way."

0 of 20 answered

About this test

Researchers describe five ways of handling conflict along two questions: how hard you push for your own needs (assertiveness) and how much you care about the other person's (cooperativeness). Competing is high on the first, accommodating high on the second, collaborating high on both, avoiding low on both, and compromising sits in the middle.

The statements on this page were written for cv.cm; they are not taken from any commercial instrument. Every style is useful in the right moment. The aim is not to find the "right" style but to notice your habit and choose on purpose.

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FAQ

What are the five conflict styles?

Competing (stand your ground), collaborating (solve it together so both win), compromising (meet in the middle), avoiding (step away) and accommodating (give the other person what they want).

Which conflict style is best?

None in every case. Collaborating suits important issues with time to talk; competing suits emergencies; compromising suits deadlocks; avoiding suits trivial or heated moments; accommodating suits issues that matter more to the other side.

Is this the Thomas-Kilmann instrument?

No. It uses the same widely taught five-style model, but the questions and results are original to cv.cm, and the scores are not comparable to any commercial test.

Can I use it with my partner or team?

Yes. Take it separately, compare charts, and talk about which styles you each fall back on under stress. Knowing the other person's default makes it easier not to take it personally.