Slang dictionary · Love and relationships · Chinese internet slang
What does PUA mean in Chinese slang?
Also written: pickup artist, 被PUA (bei PUA), 职场PUA (workplace PUA), pua
In short
In Chinese, PUA usually means emotional manipulation: repeatedly belittling, criticising and putting someone down, then offering small rewards, until they lose confidence, depend on you and do what you say. People say 被PUA了 ("I've been PUA'd") or 职场PUA ("workplace PUA"). The letters come from the English pickup artist, the men in the US "seduction community" who teach techniques for picking up women, a scene widely criticised for sexism and manipulative tactics. Chinese usage kept the manipulation and widened it to workplaces, families and friendships.
From pickup artist to manipulation
In English, pickup artists are mostly men who claim they can seduce women with learned techniques. Courses in "speed seduction" appeared from the late 1980s, online newsgroups spread the scene in the 1990s, and Neil Strauss's 2005 book The Game made it widely known. Critics call it sexist, and some of its tactics, such as negging (backhanded compliments meant to lower a woman's confidence), are plainly manipulative.
On the Chinese internet the term came to mean the manipulation itself. Alternating put-downs and favors so someone doubts themselves and depends on you is PUA, whoever does it and in whatever relationship.
Workplace PUA
A 2020 People's Daily Online opinion piece defined 职场PUA as a superior's unjustified pressure on subordinates: belittling and negating them so they gradually lose confidence and can be controlled, or promising rewards that never come, mixing scolding with occasional praise until employees lose themselves and obey the boss.
- 「你这点能力，离开这里没人要你。」 (With your skills, nobody else would hire you.)
- 「我是为你好才骂你。」 (I only yell at you because I care.)
- Success is "luck", mistakes prove "you're just not good enough".
- Endless promises: 「好好干，明年一定给你升职。」 (Work hard and you'll definitely be promoted next year.)
How to use it
- 「他总说我离开他就什么都不是，我是不是被PUA了？」 (He keeps saying I'm nothing without him. Am I being manipulated?)
- 「老板天天说我们是最差的一届，这是典型的职场PUA。」 (The boss says we're the worst team ever, every day. Classic workplace PUA.)
- 「别PUA自己了，一次失误不代表你不行。」 (Stop PUA-ing yourself; one mistake doesn't make you a failure.)
PUA works as a noun or a verb in Chinese: 他PUA我 ("he manipulates me"), 被PUA了 ("got manipulated"). 自我PUA ("self-PUA") jokingly means being too hard on yourself.
Recognising manipulation
- constant put-downs of your looks, abilities, family or friends
- hot and cold: kindness right after cruelty, so you try harder to please
- isolation: they discourage you from seeing friends or family
- blame shifting: "you made me do it", "you're too sensitive"
- you doubt yourself more and more and check their mood before every decision
FAQ
What does PUA stand for?
Pickup artist, a man in the English-speaking "seduction community" who studies techniques for picking up women. In Chinese it now mostly means emotional manipulation.
What does 被PUA mean?
"To be PUA'd": to be manipulated through belittling, criticism and hot-and-cold treatment until you lose confidence and depend on the other person. It can happen in dating, at work, in families or among friends.
What is workplace PUA?
A boss or senior colleague belittling staff without cause, using threats like "nobody else would hire you", or mixing scolding, occasional praise and empty promises to keep employees obedient.